Intro - The Waxing Diaries

So begins the blogging.  Let me introduce myself, and then you can decide whether this blog may be an interesting read. I am "The Wax Slinger".  I've been slinging wax in South Texas for 10 years now.  What does a "wax slinger" do, and why should this be an interesting read?  Technically, my license lists me as an esthetician, or facialist.  Traditionally, an esthetician does facials and skin care treatments, with a little waxing thrown in here and there to shape eyebrows, remove that mustache off your upper lip, etc. Can you say "boring" ???

Several years back  I made the decision to specialize in hair removal via waxing.  I like to call this "extreme body waxing".  Everything from legs, chest, back, inner nostrils, nipples, and the ever-so-popular Brazilian, both male and female.  Yes, people pay me to rip their hair out.  They pay me very well in fact, and many of them return for this ritual every month.  You can just imagine the type of relationship that develops when you have your face up in someone's junk,  month in and month out.  The stories I hear and the stories I have to tell.  I like to think of myself as the Carrie Bradshaw (Sex and the City)  of the waxing world.  Just so you know, the names have been changed to protect the "not so innocent".   So sit back, hold on tight, and get ready to "pee your pants" as I reveal

"The Waxing Diaries"

Dr. Correctum

A month or so ago, a client I will refer to as "Mama-Licious"  came in for her usual  bikini wax.  As she assumed the position on my treatment table, she said she wanted a full Brazilian wax this time, instead of her usual bikini cleanup.  She then mentioned it was a special  occasion.  "Really?"  I asked.  "Are you and your sweetheart  celebrating an anniversary?"    "No," M-Licious replied.  "I am having surgery tomorrow, and I want to be nice and clean for my surgeon"...Hmmmm, I thought to myself. What kind of surgery requires a Brazilian wax?  Before long she volunteered the information. It seems that during her last childbirth, she had a nasty tear between the vaginal and rectal area, with resulting scar tissue.  She was so excited about having the surgery.

M-Licious continued to tell me her story about finding the perfect colon/rectal surgeon.  She walked into his clinic for a consultation, and in the reception area hanging on the wall was a sign that read, "You think YOU'VE had a shitty day".  M-Licious said she knew instantly she would like this guy, and sure enough, he was a kind, caring, and friendly doc with a sense of humor. The surgery was scheduled, and her waxing appointment set for the night before the surgery. 

"Now," she commented.  "I have a favor to ask, because I know you also have a great imagination  and sense of humor too".  MOI???  What could I possibly do other than create a beautiful, hair-free canvass for Dr. Cor-rectum first thing in the morning"...She asked if I could come up with some type of poem or limerick, and write it on her tush for the nice doctor to see first thing in the morning.  Weeeeeeeeee, I thought to myself....I knew someday my poetry would be in demand, but I had no idea it would be written on someone's ass for the entire surgical staff to see. 

After waxing M-Licious, I grabbed my sharpie marker and engraved the following on her tush:

Dr. Correctum

Oh how I respect'em

For making my tutor

Look so much cuter !

M-Licisou called me a few days after her surgery, and said we were the talk of the hospital!  Ahhhhhh, just another day at the office.

XOXOXO

The Wax Slinger